A path to healing through Mindfulness & Yoga

 

Hi there, my name is Taylor. A 30 year old yoga teacher, originally from the UK now residing in Sydney. 

I’m grateful for this opportunity to share a little bit about my own healing journey with you all. A river of life I guess you could call it. Taking myself down many different streams in the search for answers to the questions of a life I once thought was true. A river that I am still journeying through myself. 

 

Yet one thing I have learnt is that a river is always flowing. There might be times where life takes us off to waters that could become stagnant and heavy, where we could feel stuck, but if we can trust and keep following the gentle current of the stream it will always lead us back to the river, an estuary, and eventually to the sea.

 

 

 

As a boy I was brought up in a small town in the south of England called East Grinstead.  A quirky little place full of adventure. Living by the forest, I was  often off exploring, riding my bike, building tree houses, doing anything just to be in nature. Not understanding then what nature was going to do for me! 

 

I was always slightly anxious as a boy never quite believing in myself. Unsure of who I truly was I would often find myself looking at others wishing I was more like them. I started to wear masks to protect myself from how I was truly feeling inside. When I was 14 my mother passed away. She had a drinking addiction which eventually escalated to causing her death. For me this really intensified the masks that I wore. I didn’t show much emotion around her death, something I’ve had to since work on over years to help let go of the held emotions and traumas. A protective mechanism I used at the time. 16 years later is now a secure vault full of trapped and repressed emotions buried in the pit of my stomach. 

 

 

 

As the years went on, my life remained very unsteady, always trying, always searching, searching for love and acceptance. But unfortunately by wearing all these different masks I was stopping myself from ever feeling love and acceptance for self! Drinking and drug taking were an easy distraction I relied on for many years to cover my truth. 

 

At the age of 21 I had my first serious relationship. Previous to that I would push any girl who came close to me away as soon as feelings got involved. By finally letting someone in it really helped me discover that actually someone could love me and I was worthy. This welcomed the start of a slight shift in my life. Although the relationship ended, it helped me begin to remove some of the masks and I began to identify the true parts of who I really was.

 

From the age of around 22 I started to try meditation. I downloaded a very simple app that I still use to this day. I would walk around the forest by my house and would just listen and be guided. At that time, I didn’t think I was a very good meditator but I would still feel this sense of calmness as I'd look at the trees and walk around in nature. Using these guides and bedtime meditations helped to draw me into a state of mindfulness. 

 

At the age of 23 I moved to Australia where my healing journey really began. Over the next 4 years while in Sydney I battled with anxiety, and mental health using many other methods to try to ease how I was truly feeling. Eventually I returned  towards a practice of meditation and this time I knew it was something I both wanted and needed to invest more time into, deep down I believed there was something special when I came into my meditative state. Just a small amount to start, going back to the app I had on my phone. It didn’t take long before I started to notice some real life changing effects to my mood, energy and self confidence. The anxiety started to ease, the fear began to dissolve and my confidence started to grow. 

I believe that everything that happens in life is a lesson. 

 

In June 2020 I got diagnosed with testicular cancer. A big shock and a scary time but something I wouldn’t change. The lessons I learnt from that sculpted my life to where I sit today. The realisation that my life is my life. All the years I spent worrying and fearing what the world thought of me, how society and culture might’ve judged me. All for what? I realised that all these thoughts and feelings were actually my own projection of my biggest fears. Yes there were external factors and pressures present around me but ultimately I was the creator, the mastermind behind where I wanted my life story to go. I knew at this point  I wanted to learn more so I could one day potentially help others from my own hardships, lessons and learnings.

 

 

 

 

After the cancer it gave me a push to start wanting to look after myself more. I wouldn’t say it made me any different. I still enjoy a party and a takeaway every so often but I started to see a greater sense of balance was required.. Meditation soon became a daily habit in my life; the best habit I have ever built. It was a way I could slow down time and let go of any weight that I was gripping on to. I was the type of person who would never have believed what meditation was capable of doing; that was before I experienced it for myself. For that I’m truly grateful.

 

A year later through covid I was in my apartment with terrible lower back issues. Years of kickboxing had taken its toll. I spent hundreds of dollars on physios and chiropractors but the pain wasn’t getting any better. I had always wondered about yoga but it wasn’t until a friend pushed me into attending a class that I gave it a go. Like everything, healing takes time but after 3 weeks I was really starting to notice a relief and change in my body and chronic pain. That on its own would’ve been enough to convert me to a yogi but by now I was feeling so much more. It was from my growing passion for my practice that this fire ignited within me and I decided to learn to teach. I knew I always wanted to dedicate my purpose to helping others and after practicing yoga this was my gift I could give!

 

Now as a fully qualified yoga teacher I believe there is something in yoga for everyone. There is no right or wrong, no good or bad. Whether you come to practice for the physical, mental, the emotional or spiritual body or all four. Yoga is only what you need it to be for you. Yoga is a practice that has been passed down for thousands of years with the knowledge it's there to help you feel good however you choose to use it.

Personally for me, yoga brings me a sense of internal peace and love. It's a place I feel no expectations or judgments, it’s somewhere I can go and leave all the pressures of life behind. A place I can truly express myself and feel totally comfortable doing so. Something I was very scared to do for a long time.

 

For me yoga is coming home to self. 

 

Meditation and yoga helped my life so much, it helped me learn to love who I am from the inside out and I honor that by now using my experience to teach and share with others I can hopefully help them too.

 

Thank you, Taylor Bradley