Healing Childhood Trauma

Understanding, Recognising, and Finding Your Path Forward

Last updated: Sep 2025 

My Story and Approach

I never imagined anything good could come from my childhood, but it’s often the wounded healers who carry wisdom and a blueprint for others walking through the same fire. I grew up in a volatile, neglectful, and abusive home, crying myself to sleep most nights in a situation I couldn’t escape for 18 years. My childhood, paired with a deep need to understand why I was the way I was, set me on a lifelong path of healing, which would eventually become my vocation.

Today, I’m a trauma-informed counsellor and Somatic EMDR practitioner, specialising in helping adults untangle the echoing effects of childhood trauma. My holistic approach integrates Somatic Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and meditation. I also draw on formal training in Meditation, Yoga, Holistic Nutrition, Herbal Medicine and Bach remedies when called for, creating a well-rounded and integrative practice.

I focus on seeing people for who they are beyond diagnoses and negative stories that may already be shaping their self-worth. I uphold a compassionate, experiential space where clients can safely explore their inner world, and I integrate both mind and body-based therapies. Sometimes this looks like gently challenging unhelpful thoughts and patterns or offering psychoeducation. At other times, it might mean using grounding, guided meditation, or visualisation to support a sense of safety and cultivate a more supportive way of experiencing themselves and the world. These practices not only support healing in the moment but also build long-term resilience, giving clients resources they can carry into everyday life. 

Our childhood experiences profoundly shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. They influence our core beliefs, emotional regulation, sense of worth, confidence, and the way we connect in relationships. While that sounds deterministic, with awareness, therapy, new skills, nervous system regulation, and nurturing experiences, we can gently rewire both mind and body into new ways of being and relating. 

Many people also experience what is known as post-traumatic growth, which is the ability to transform pain into deeper self-understanding, compassion, and meaning in life. Even the most difficult beginnings can give rise to strengths such as empathy, independence, and resilience.

Understanding Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma can happen when a child faces experiences that feel overwhelming, disturbing, unsafe, or deeply hurtful. 

But trauma isn’t defined by the event alone. Whether a child becomes traumatised depends on their nervous system’s ability to cope, whether the body has had the chance to release the distress, and whether they have the right support around them. For example, two people can live through the same experience, i.e. a natural disaster, but one can recover from the experience untraumatised, while the other may develop PTSD symptoms.

If a child doesn’t have the tools or a safe space to process traumatic events, the nervous system holds onto them and stores the stress response instead of releasing it. When something overwhelming happens, the body shifts into survival mode. Our nervous system responds either through fight-or-flight (sympathetic arousal), freeze (shutdown/immobilisation), or fawn (people-pleasing and appeasing to stay safe).

Childhood trauma generally includes experiences such as neglect, abandonment, and physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. It can also involve witnessing violence at home or living with a parent who is struggling with mental health issues. These experiences can affect a child’s health and emotional wellbeing later in life, as shown in the ACEs study (Adverse Childhood Experiences).

These unprocessed memories don’t just shape your thoughts, like believing the world is unsafe or that people will hurt you, they also live in the body as sensations, tension, or automatic reactions. That’s why someone might feel anxious, shut down, or hyper alert in situations that unconsciously remind the nervous system of past danger.

Recognising the Signs: How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Adults

Physical symptoms: 

• Unexplained pain (psychosymptomatic), chronic migraines, muscle tension, fatigue, digestive issues, and autoimmune conditions.

Emotional patterns: 

• Persistent anxiety, depression, mood swings, being easily triggered, and emotional numbness are common.
• Dissociation (feeling detached from self or surroundings) or overwhelm is also frequent, especially when triggered.

Relationship challenges: 

• Difficulty trusting others, setting boundaries, speaking one’s needs, people pleasing, fear of confrontation.
• Insecure attachment wounds from anxious, avoidant, disorganised.
• Difficulty with intimacy or emotional closeness
• Repetition of unhealthy relationship patterns
• Sensitivity to rejection or abandonment
• Difficulty asserting needs or expressing feelings, often tied to early neglect or emotional invalidation.
• Enmeshment and codependence in romantic relationships

Behavioural manifestations:

• Procrastination or avoidance
• Substance use or addictive behaviours are often used to cope with stress or numb emotions as a way to regulate
• Self-sabotage
• Difficulty with decision-making
• Social withdrawal or isolation
• Overworking or overfunctioning - trying to gain safety or approval through achievement.
• Perfectionism
• Hypervigilance
• People-pleasing
• Fear and avoidance of conflict/confrontation
• Dissociation
• Easily startled

Self-Assessment: Reflection Questions

Taking time to reflect on your early experiences can be an insightful step toward understanding yourself and your patterns. The following questions are designed to help you explore your childhood in a gentle, accessible way. This reflection is not a diagnostic tool, but rather a starting point to reflect on your early experiences and how it may be impacting you today.

1. Did I feel safe in my home as a child?
2. Did I feel loved, seen, and supported by my caregivers?
3. Were my feelings and opinions acknowledged, or often dismissed or ignored?
4. Did I feel that all parts of me were welcomed, or were some parts rejected or discouraged?
5. Could I express myself freely, or did I feel I had to hide parts of who I am?
6. Did I experience neglect, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse?
7. Did I witness violence, substance use, or other unsafe behaviours at home?
8. Did I feel pressure to take care of others emotionally or physically?
9. Were there consistent boundaries and routines, or unpredictability and chaos?
10. How did I cope with stress, fear, or difficult emotions as a child?
11. Are there parts of my childhood I find difficult to remember or feel disconnected from?
12. Do I notice patterns in my adult relationships that reflect my early experiences?

If you find that these questions bring up difficult memories or strong emotions, or resonate strongly, it may be worth exploring further with a trauma-informed professional who can guide you safely.

The Science Behind Trauma’s Impact

Trauma changes how the body and mind function. For children, whose brains and bodies are still developing, dysregulated nervous system states can become chronic or ingrained patterns.

Over time, chronic stress alters the body’s stress-response system. Research on ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) shows a clear link between early trauma and increased risks of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and difficulties with emotional regulation. But the impact isn’t limited to mental health. Higher ACE scores are also correlated with physical health problems, including autoimmune conditions, heart disease, respiratory issues, chronic pain and many others.

Because trauma is also expressed through autonomic and bodily responses, it makes sense that talk therapy is often not enough. A more integrated approach to healing involves engaging the body, supporting the nervous system, and creating new lived experiences of safety.

Pathways to Healing

There are many pathways to healing, and no single approach works for everyone. Healing is not about erasing the past but learning to carry it differently, integrating the wounded parts of ourselves with compassion and resilience.

Some common approaches include:

• Somatic EMDR – Combines EMDR with somatic awareness to track sensations and release trauma stored in the body.
• Somatic Parts Work (IFS with somatic focus) – Combines Internal Family Systems with body-based awareness to integrate dissociated or protective parts.
• Polyvagal-Informed Therapy – Based on Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, focuses on regulating the vagus nerve and supporting the nervous system’s shift into states of safety and connection.
• Narrative Therapy – Helps people re-author their story by separating themselves from the trauma and reshaping their identity beyond it.
• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – Originally developed for complex trauma and emotional dysregulation, DBT teaches mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

These are just some of the approaches I recommend for childhood trauma, but there are many others. Most importantly, studies have found that healing depends less on the specific method and more on the quality of the relationship with a trusted practitioner.

Spotlight: Somatic EMDR Therapy

One of the most effective methods I use is Somatic EMDR Therapy. It’s like traditional EMDR but with a somatic focus, by attuning to nonverbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, or subtle gestures. These cues can reveal what a client truly feels about something, even feelings they are not consciously ready to acknowledge. Part of the process is also about supporting clients to develop interoception and a deeper connection with their bodily sensations and nervous system responses, helping them understand what they are feeling and why.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is effective for a wide range of people and can help with PTSD symptoms, anxiety, phobias, depression, grief, and even chronic pain. While suitable for many, EMDR works best when clients have a foundation of safety and stability, with extra care taken for those experiencing severe dissociation or active mental health crises.

EMDR follows a structured protocol designed to keep the process safe and effective. This includes eight stages such as history-taking, preparation, assessment, desensitisation, and several others. What happens in your session depends on which stage of the process you’re currently in, and we move through some stages more quickly than others.

If you’re curious about whether this kind of work might be right for you, I welcome you to reach out and explore the next steps together.

Practical Steps for Healing

While therapy is powerful, healing is also supported by what we do in daily life. Here are some steps that can help:

• Self-compassion practices: Speak to yourself as you would to a hurting child or a dear friend. Journal or write letters to yourself in this voice about a situation. 
• Nervous system regulation: Self-havening touch is a gentle self-soothing technique where slow, calming touch, such as stroking your arms or resting your hands on your heart and stomach helps create a sense of safety in the body. Other practices include gentle shaking, walking, yoga, acupuncture, mindful breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation.
• Professional support: A trauma-informed therapist can provide a safe container to process what feels too big to carry alone.
• Building a support network: Healing happens in safe relationships and co-regulation, which is the syncing of nervous systems, plays a large role in relational healing. Seek out people who are trustworthy, supportive, understanding, and consistent.

Healing is not linear. It involves setbacks, breakthroughs, and gradual shifts. What matters most is cultivating safety, self-compassion, and patience with yourself along the way.

FAQ

Can childhood trauma be healed completely?
Childhood trauma leaves lasting marks, and there is no final destination where someone is completely ‘healed’. Just as a cut leaves a scar, the experiences may always leave traces. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting the past, but learning not to be ruled by it. Survivors can still live fully, with resilience, self-understanding and extra growth.

How do I know if I need therapy for childhood trauma?
If you notice patterns of early childhood trauma replaying your relationships, emotions, or sense of self, therapy can be a powerful place to explore these dynamics. Common wounded inner child symptoms include codependency, trust issues, abandonment issues, people pleasing, hypervigilance, addictions, a sense of emptiness, or punishing others or yourself.

What’s the difference between EMDR and Somatic EMDR?
Traditional EMDR focuses on memory processing through bilateral stimulation, which does involve somatic senses. Somatic EMDR builds on this by weaving in body awareness, attuning to sensations, and nonverbal cues. 

How long does trauma healing take?
There is no timeline for healing, and it is certainly not a quick or overnight fix. But with the right support and approach, many people notice meaningful changes within weeks or months that can continue unraveling over the years.

Is it normal to not remember my childhood?
Yes. Memory gaps are often a protective response to trauma. This is often connected to dissociation, where the mind distances itself from memories or feelings that were too difficult to process at the time.

Can childhood trauma affect physical health?
Absolutely. Research shows links between early trauma and a range of chronic health issues, including gut problems, hormone imbalances, weakened immune function, sleep disturbances, chronic pain and more.

What if I’m not ready to talk about my trauma?
That’s okay. Sometimes it’s more helpful not to recount trauma if you’re not ready and just need space to reset. In EMDR, you don’t even need to talk about what happened if you don’t want to. Therapists can use code words that only you understand to reference memories, activating them just enough for processing while keeping you within a safe and tolerable level of distress. Somatic approaches also let you work with body sensations and emotions without putting experiences into words, which EMDR incorporates as well. Ultimately, if you don’t feel ready to face distressing memories, it’s best to wait until the time feels right for you.

How do I find the right trauma therapist?
Look for someone who is trauma-informed and is ideally specialised in areas you are struggling with. A therapist with lived experience can offer a palpable sense of understanding and empathy that helps in feeling seen and held. It also helps if their perspective on healing aligns with yours, whether that leans toward traditional or complementary approaches. This ensures you feel safe, understood, and not judged for your values. Most importantly, choose someone you have a good rapport with, and genuinely believes in your capacity to heal.

Overcoming and integrating childhood trauma is possible, even if it feels far off right now. I never imagined I’d be where I am today given my background of psychological abuse, neglect. But by leaning into my past, it makes sense that the embodied knowledge, depth of pain, and empathy set me up for this work. With the right guidance and tools and finding what works for you, meaningful progress is possible. 

If you feel ready to explore what therapy or your journey might look like for you, I invite you to reach out. Simply starting the conversation can be the first step toward meaningful change.

This article was written by one of our trusted practitioners on Bodhi Holistic Hub. All practitioners are carefully vetted according to our Vetting Process, and all content follows our Editorial Policy.

The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition or before starting any new health practice.