Feminine Energy Demystified: Finding Balance in a Burnout World

A guide to recognising, healing, and harnessing the feminine energy we all carry within

Understanding Feminine Energy (Yin)

“Intuition is the treasure of a woman’s psyche. It is like a divining instrument and like a crystal through which one can see with uncanny interior vision. It is like a wise old woman who is with you always, who tells you exactly what the matter is, tells you exactly whether you need to go left or right. It is a form of The One Who Knows, old La Que Sabe, the Wild Woman.” (Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés)

Nowadays, we hear a lot about Feminine energy in the wellness world, also referred to as “Divine” or “Wild” Feminine. Therapy modalities, workshops, women's circles, podcasts, books, but what is this energy at its core? To begin with, it is essential to distinguish between feminine/masculine energies and gender. There are many ways to approach this topic; I chose a simple one that has helped me understand: Traditional Chinese Medicine and the theory of Yin & Yang. According to this view, humans, as part of nature, hold two different qualities of energy within. The Yang is the masculine principle: active, passionate, energetic, and dynamic. The Yin, feminine, is its complement and opposite: cool, receptive, abstract, and intuitive. 

When I started teaching yoga, I created the“Yang to Yin Flow”. This class is focused on combining the energies of yin and yang, working towards balance and a sense of wholeness. I wanted to offer a safe space for self-expression, where a harmonious flow happens by allowing both energies to emerge through the physical practice. The beginning of the session, or “warm up”, can be associated with our masculine energy and the sun: hot, bright, generates heat, creates motion, it is a grounding energy we are more prone to experience during the daytime. The second part of the class is about cooling down our systems, tapping into a feminine, yin field. We then hold postures for longer, using the breath as a tool for introspection and inner experience. As we invite our attention in, withdrawing from the outside, we can be grounded in our bodies. We can also relate this experience to the moon: cool, dark, mysterious, lives in the night, connecting us to the underworld or unseen realm, where our intuition resides. It is a more introverted type of energy that invites us to dive deeper into the body, connecting us to our inner world through our senses and emotions.

With this illustration, it becomes easier to understand how gender and fem/masculine energies have very little in common, as you can identify yourself as a woman or a man and be connected with/express both, or specifically one of these energies more than the other, at different phases of your life. So, why is talking about Feminine energy important? Still referring to the Yin & Yang theory, a system or organism is healthy if these two energies are balanced. For Chinese medicine, an imbalance would result in disease and illness. While it might sound like a simple task to remain balanced, Western culture has turned the world into a very yang place for us to live. We usually have little contact with nature in our routines, and we all, men and women, live in a fast-paced environment, where being productive and multitasking are desirable skills to handle the multiple demands we face daily. Of course, there are different levels at which this can be experienced. Some cities, careers, jobs, and cultural backgrounds can be more hectic than others, just as some people may be more sensitive or, on the other hand, naturally more attuned to the busyness of life. These people can operate mostly in their masculine component without feeling the imbalance as much. But keeping it simple: close your eyes for a minute and ask yourself: Am I able to connect to my feminine and masculine energy the same way? Am I socially encouraged to do so?

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After this first space for reflection, you will probably find that the modern world has conditioned humans to operate primarily in their masculine. Productivity, achievement, and output are worn like badges of honour. If you are an artist, either a writer, musician, painter or a dancer; or if you happen to work with holistic and spiritual healing of all sorts; or even if you consciously chose to step out of the autopilot and invest some time in connecting with nature, artistic expression, and somatic practices, you might be out of the statistics. The psychologist Clarissa Estés, in her bestseller “Women Who Run with the Wolves”, writes:

“Each woman has potential access to Rio Abajo Rio, this river beneath the river. She arrives there through deep meditation, dance, writing, painting, prayermaking, singing, drumming, active imagination, or any activity which requires an intense altered consciousness. A woman arrives in this world-between-worlds through yearning and by seeking something she can see just out of the corner of her eye. She arrives there by deeply creative acts, through intentional solitude, and by practice of any of the arts.” (Clarissa Pinkola Estés)

While she writes “woman” referring to the archetype of the Wild Woman, this can also be applied to men who come in contact with their feminine. In this little paragraph, we see that being in the feminine energy field, the “world between worlds”, requires intention and solitude, which is a privileged experience if we consider the majority of people. So even though feminine energy is a large topic that can enhance your wellbeing in different ways, understanding the importance of making space for it in your life is the number one step in the journey to it.

Masculine and Feminine Energy, another perspective

We have explored the natural polarity and complementary nature of these energies, and how both co-exist within all people, regardless of gender. We also saw how the balance concept of yin and yang is related to overall health according to Traditional Chinese Medicine. How about Masculine energy? There are a few misconceptions about feminine vs. masculine. I’ll use an example of a counselling client I saw a few years ago in my private practice. She comes to therapy, saying she feels somewhat depleted in energy and mentally overwhelmed, as she describes herself dealing with the pressure of decision-making quite frequently to compensate for her partner’s inability or incapability to make his own decisions. This woman, at another phase of her life, describes herself living in a context where she was connected to a community, job, and habits that were extremely supportive of the expression of her higher self. Because she once experienced what it felt like to be in touch with elements of her feminine energy at balance, she can now identify the imbalance and its effect on her wellbeing.

Another popular view that distinguishes between feminine and masculine energies is the concept of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. You may have encountered this concept in spiritual literature or online posts. The Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine represent the ideal or more evolved manifestation or expression of each of these energies in the world. The masculine is deeply present, accountable, offers direction and stability, is focused, logical and supportive. The feminine is intuitive, grounded, vulnerable, open, connected to life cycles, capable of surrendering, and flows through life effortlessly.

Like the yin and yang, the divine counterparts, feminine and masculine, will ideally be present within an individual regardless of gender. “Inner Union” means a state of being that one is in when in alignment with the dual aspects of the self. An individual who is balanced and integrated in mind, body, and spirit. The same theory describes a “Sacred Union” - how a healthy partnership potentially feels. We can see how, in the example of the couple above, if the male partner was rooted in his divine masculine energy and inner wisdom, the insecurity around taking direction and making decisions would be showing up less, which would then allow space for the woman to be supportive in this process also rooted in her feminine presence, grounded and open.

. . . . .

It is important to recognise that the divine versions of these archetypes differ from the societal perceptions or labels of the feminine/masculine, male/female, just as feminine energy is different to being "feminine" in the traditional sense. While gender traits end up boxing people into ways of being a woman or a man (that we all know well), telling us how we should show up in life if identifying ourselves as one or the other, the energy approach to masculine/feminine introduces a whole new paradigm of understanding human interactions and possibilities, describing important qualities we want to hold in spiritual evolution. As much as men and women aim to be in “inner union”, the state where we are free to express our most authentic self, be supportive to ourselves and others, the reality is that most of the time it’s hard to find circumstances or the environment that will fully support that blooming process. The key is to make it a priority, actively deciding to look for it.

Signs of Healthy Feminine Embodiment

Now that we talked about feminine energy characteristics and the ways we operate in our masculine in daily life, how do we recognise signs of this energy embodied? How would it feel? I believe that, as a man or a woman, tapping into the marvels of the feminine energy field can feel ecstatic! I have personally never experienced anything more magical and freeing in my life. I’m quite passionate about this topic as deep inside my soul, I’ve always felt an urge for freedom. In search of this feeling, for nearly all my adult life, I’ve dived into self-study, mental health and physical wellbeing. Whether studying psychology, attending psychotherapy for over a decade, working with clients in a hospital in Brazil, reading spirituality authors, practicing yoga and breathwork, or moving to Australia in my twenties to start a new life. With time, I gradually acquired my tools for self healing, and as I started to do the work, I felt my body lighter and my spirit lifted. I started to live life from places of love and light more fully as I worked on my trauma and fears, and truly believe that only then, at the age of thirty, I finally experienced the potential (so far) hidden inside of me.

• Receptivity, intuition, and creativity

The foundation of feminine embodiment is feeling at home in your body. Not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and sometimes sitting with uncomfortable feelings that need to be felt in order to be healed. Simply put, you can only listen to yourself when you are unafraid of what it wants to tell you, right? So, getting to know yourself in therapy, through self-study, or spiritual practices, whatever approach you choose, will increase your ability to listen to your intuition. Combined with feeling open and receptive to what your body is saying, feeling intuitive and creative are good indicators of a healthy feminine.

• Nurturing, compassion, and emotional intelligence

Compassion and emotional intelligence are also qualities of healthy feminine embodiment. When we feel connected to our feminine energy and wisdom, we are compassionate and nurturing towards ourselves and our relationships. In this state of being, the feeling of unconditional love naturally grows, and it is one of the most healing emotions a person can feel because of its energetic frequency. It helps us live our lives from a place of love, instead of fear. It helps us manage our own emotions and understand the emotions of people around us. It is our natural state and true nature.

• Flow, surrender, and flexibility

Each opportunity we have to be true to ourselves and our path is an opportunity to create more flow and flexibility, which are feminine qualities that we learn to cultivate over time. At this phase of my life, I remember writing: “Building trust in life is a muscle you can work on”. While the masculine will conquer the world by actively pursuing and “doing”, the feminine manifests that reality into her life with the capacity to flow and surrender, being intimately in tune with life itself. Ishvara pranidhana, in Sanskrit, is the final niyama in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras and refers to surrendering to a higher source (Ishvara). The feminine holds the capacity to trust and the openness to receive.

• Connection to cycles, rhythm, and nature

When we feel connected to our deep feminine energy, we are naturally more attuned to our menstrual cycles, moon cycles, and the cycles of nature. Not only do we start noticing them, but we honour them and become aware of the interconnectedness of it all. We start to learn about our rhythm and what pace works for us in life. We tap into the realm of feelings and out of our programs and interpretations. We want to release the old to make space for the new. We crave time alone and time in nature. We talk to the moon. We listen to the drums and dance close to the fire. We give birth to a newborn baby or bring an exciting project to life. We come back to our wildness, remember our divinity, and fully inhabit our bodies.

• Creative expression and play

The feminine urge to have fun, to take things lightly, to play, to be spontaneous! Being connected to the feminine energy means that you become more sensitive, or more awake, in a spiritual sense. When you gain the ability to become present and experience the fullness of life, you increase your sense of connection with others and with yourself. The Self, which is awake and alive within the present moment, wants to unleash its true expression. It wants to connect, to celebrate! It’s a childlike feel of creative expression and play.

• The power of presence and being (vs. doing)

We live in a world that glorifies doing. We’re proud of being busy, of hustling, of constantly striving. Slowing down, taking space, and resting, on the other hand, can be seen as lazy or unproductive. But as we learned, being is where presence lives, and there is a huge power in that. Presence means receptivity, the ability to have your body-mind system at a frequency capable of receiving intuitive guidance and spiritual insight. Presence is the home of our intuitive instincts, a powerful source of creativity, emotional intelligence and creative life force. It’s where we experience life instead of rushing through it. Like the Beatles long ago sang to us: “Let it be”!

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We learned signs of healthy feminine embodiment, and how can we tell if our feminine energy is blocked? Some symptoms you may want to be aware of are: chronic exhaustion and burnout; disconnection from emotions and body; over-reliance on masculine (constant doing, analysing); difficulty receiving help or pleasure; perfectionism and control issues; self-criticism and harsh judgment; stagnant creativity and joy. The healthy feminine will show emotional fluidity and authentic expression, intuitive awareness and trust; boundaries that honour both self and others; connection to body wisdom and sensuality; collaborative rather than competitive relationships.

Personal Transformation: Awakening and Balancing Feminine Energy

“We are all filled with a longing for the wild. There are few culturally sanctioned antidotes for this yearning. We were taught to feel shame for such a desire. We grew our hair long and used it to hide our feelings. But the shadow of Wild Woman still lurks behind us during our days and in our nights. No matter where we are, the shadow that trots behind us is definitely four-footed.” (Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés)

I was born in South America as a first-generation Indonesian Brazilian. My father left home at the age of 18 and flew from Central Java to Brazil with his parents’ siblings in search of a better life. Latina, daughter of an immigrant dad from Asia and a Brazilian mum of Portuguese lineage. Growing up in my family felt like merging the Eastern and Western worlds into one. Even though living in a Latin culture that made sense in my body, there was always a nagging feeling pulling me in a different direction, as if there was a foreign part of me claiming to be found.

In my mid-twenties, I felt quite anxious. I was attending psychotherapy and, luckily, found great tools to regulate my nervous system, like breathwork and yoga. I graduated in Psychology in 2015 and worked in a social clinic offering therapy to the population of Rio de Janeiro. In 2016, I started Post-graduation, and after two years of in-service training at a hospital, became a specialist in Clinical Psychology. By that time, at the age of 27, I was feeling drained and physically ill. My stomach was sensitive and couldn’t handle much. My hair was falling, I was having repetitive urinary infections and had trouble sleeping. I was burning out at work and couldn’t understand what went wrong if everything I was doing felt like my own choice. My approach to life was very outcome-based, and I struggled to get out of my head and mental spirals.

One day, talking to a friend about my experience growing up and living in Brazil, I said: “I’ve realised you only start healing when you live out of survival mode”. She was curious about my comment, and I explained that an important part of my healing began when I moved to the other side of the world (literally!). Living in Australia and being physically far from the environment I grew up in helped me realise I was feeling imprisoned by self-limiting beliefs, “doing what I was told” instead of living the life I truly wanted. I started to become aware of the need to outgrow family patterns and cultural conditioning to be able to freely express myself.

After that realisation, sort of naturally, I started to dive deep into my feminine. My tools have varied over time, but they have included yoga, dance and movement; breathwork, energy healing, poetry writing, and plant medicine. Even though I consider myself intuitive from an early age, I was able to strengthen my ability to hear my inner voice or “gut feeling” even more, allowing it to direct my life in new and unexpected ways. My somatic symptoms have subsided over time, and my energy levels have gone up. Work started to feel energising rather than depleting. I felt alive and creative, with a fresh sense of openness to life. I began to experience the difference between force and flow, and learned that my capacity to receive is directly connected to my ability to trust. This journey led me to a lifestyle, career and community that finally felt aligned with my true values and true self.

When I think about an invitation to women who feel a call to dive into their feminine or a need to heal, I think of solitude first. Spending quality time with oneself. Finding something that helps them connect with their inner landscape. This will vary from person to person. There are yoga poses specifically for Yin energy; dance for feminine embodiment; somatic techniques for releasing blocked energy, like breathwork and meditation; rituals for honouring cycles and transitions; activities that help you engage with creativity and art; or simply creating space for rest and receptivity. Somatic therapy is also a great way to have someone support you in this journey.

The book“Women Who Run with the Wolves” by psychologist Clarissa Pinkola Estés is one of my favourite books to recommend to anyone starting their journey with the Wild Woman. Osho's books have also helped me gain perspective on spirituality and freedom. Spending time in nature is a powerful way to connect and understand the body as part of nature. Attending psychotherapy in my early twenties helped me to work on my trauma and patterns of behaviour. Relationships have also served me well, and I’m grateful for those beautiful encounters, as I had the opportunity to experience myself in an open and vulnerable way. Those relationships created a safe container for deconditioning my sexuality, reclaiming parts of myself, and the birthright I have to fully feel and integrate pleasure into my being as a woman.

Above all, listen to yourself. Lean in and be intentional with your healing. Ask for answers and believe they are coming. Rest in your inner knowing that you hold all your answers within, because you do. Believe more is available and possible. Feel worthy and deserving. Feminine energy is soothing, restorative, and regenerating. Let it hold you. Let it heal you. Happy journey back home.

I cherish the woman I’ve grown into thus far
She is nothing like what I’d have imagined
She is mine and She is herself the entire Universe
She is our co-creation.
She is fiercely alive
Messy and divine
She is unpredictable
even to myself
She is teaching me so much
She is taking me where I need to go
And I feel the luckiest of all
To have her guidance
blessings and lessons
Now the wind is blowing
And I see her carefully collecting
the pieces we have gathered so far
to then move to her next phase
I have no idea what will happen next
I just feel I will be fine
Better than fine
as long as I have my heart
that is Love.