Bullying Within the Workplace: Why Smart People Stay Silent (And What Actually Helps)

Workplace Bullying: The Cumulative Effects
How To Identify It and How to Increase Your Chances Of Preventing It!

"Tyrants will push until you push back. It's in their nature. They don't have internal controls".
– Jordan Petersen

Introduction

What if I was to tell you, that currently 1 out of 10 people to 1 out of 3 people around the world are bullied in the workplace?

Think of all the different tactics used in an act of bullying? I bet you could think of 10 off the top of your head, right?

And when you hear of someone being bullied, there are common themes. The victim wasn’t ready to be targeted, the attack was sudden, the bully seemingly got away with the act and the victim was left to clean up the mess. And the mess, whether there was an external one or one that formed internally with symptoms akin to PTSD will likely be playing in the victim’s head time and time again with no resolution.

 
Case Study. A son is bullied by his parents at work

During a hot day in Melbourne, the staff of a manufacturing company are sitting down for lunch. The son of the owners has eaten, and allowed himself to close his eyes for a few minutes. The next thing he feels is cold water trickling all over his face & shirt and hears the staff and his mother giggling. Obviously this is meant to be a light hearted prank, but to save face, the son mumbles to the perpetrator. “Ah, F off!” No venom in his voice, but the staff seem to take a brief collective gasp as the son opens his eyes to see the empty glass hovering over him with a very annoyed looking mother looking down disapprovingly. His Dad isn’t watching but is within earshot of the moment.

The son gets up to dry himself and shakes the incident off. He’s already survived years of various degrees of bullying at school and apathy from the teachers who did nothing to stop it so he thinks that this will pass. He is quietly annoyed though about being a bit ridiculed by the laughter of the staff and his Mum’s challenge of authority by them. He thinks, well if he did it to his Mum, what would be the result? A chewing out and a somewhat muffled shouting lecture behind the office door that everyone can still essentially eavesdrop?

Two days passed…

The father approaches the son 15 minutes after work begins and asks him to follow him into the office. His mother is waiting in the office. This is done in earshot of the rest of the staff. Understanding that this kind of request is unprecedented, the son tries to open up the conversation:

“What’s up Dad?”

The father, obviously worked up by what he has to say takes a few deep, aggravated gasps of air and bellows:

“In all my years in this factory… I have NEVER witnessed such ARROGANCE by a staff member to your mother! By telling her to “F” off in front of the staff you are challenging her authority!”

Having had years of occasional programming in such a manor, living under the same roof, the son decided best to remain silent. It didn’t matter if unbeknownst to him, he had suffered PTSD or at one stage nearly taken his life in his pre-teens. Arguing the point that he was the victim was only going to increase the intensity of the so called meeting. He looked at his mother, who looked back at him defiantly, as if to say “Cop that you powerless drone!”

He was only 21, still trying to save enough money to buy a single bedroom unit and become self-reliant.

“I want you to apologise to your mother right now! If you don’t you will be cut off!”

Assuming that meant that there would be no money, no job and possibly no home by the end of the week, the son looked at his mother, bit his tongue and apologised, meekly.

He was certain that the whole staff was listening in with morbid curiosity. Just because the door was closed didn’t mean there was a cone of silence. The situation was used as a demonstration of the mother and father’s power not just over the staff, but also their son.

The so called meeting ended 5 minutes later, the son’s posture somewhat weaker, his head down. There was steam coming out of his ears, and it triggered defiance. He may have apologised to his Mum in front of his Dad, but he knew he was unfairly treated. He was wronged by his care givers. He swore that it would never happen again, his reaction to a similar situation or a similar lecture taking place.

You see, the result of that day may have caused PTSD, and the situation ruminated in his mind over and over again. Each time, the son fought back in his mind, stood up for himself and spoke back to his parents in the scenario. It caused a flame of spitefulness that was never forgotten. One day, many years later, the son stood up for himself, and just to let you know, he certainly had his moment of putting the wind up his mother and father for good measure. But that, is another story…zq 

Workplace Bullying Statistics

According to a Worksafe Report in 2024, workplace bullying “is frequently perpetrated by supervisors (55-62%), costs billions in lost productivity, and leads to significant health issues. Key types include verbal abuse, social exclusion, and, increasingly, cyberbullying.”

Furthermore… according to another report:

Under-reporting: Over one-third of employees feel they cannot approach HR about bullying.

Ineffectiveness: Only 18% of victims say anything is being done to stop the behaviour.

Duration: Nearly 50% of victims endure bullying for over six months.

 
Who is doing the bullying?

Supervisors/Managers: Responsible for 55% to 62% of incidents.

Co-workers: Responsible for 28% to 47.7% of incidents.

Gender: In the US, men are the perpetrators in 71% of cases. Women often make more compensation claims related to bullying.

 
According to Foremind:

The Impact on Workers & Organizations
Health: Victims report stress (73%), anger (67%), depression (59%), and sleep difficulties (48%).

Turnover: Bullied workers have a 62% chance of losing their jobs (termination or forced resignation).

Financial Cost: Estimated $6–$36 billion annually in Australia.

Productivity: 10-52% of a bullied employee's time is wasted due to stress and associated illness.

 
Types of Workplace Bullying

What types of bullying is involved:

Gas lighting, Mobbing (when employers and staff gang up on the victim), Verbal abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, withholding vital information, setting impossible deadlines, undermining work, exclusion, humiliation, bullying via email or phone are just some of the many tools in the bully tool box.

 
Understanding the Bully

Before the age of 30, I simply assumed that bullying was a simple programme used by the perpetrator to get their way by using others as easily as possible. Through my studies as a life coach, I stumbled across books such as Life Code by Dr. Phil which aside from other situations explained ways to avoid being a victim from others actions.

Then I came across a fantastic book by Dr. Joseph Burgo titled The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists. It was the most brilliant book I ever read and opened the door to understanding the seemingly ruthless and apathetic minds of a bully.

In the book, I learned that Narcissistic & Sociopathic behaviour has their spectrum. The behaviour can blend in to each type of bully and can also blend in to psychopathic behaviours as well. The mind is like a moving chess board, and nothing is ever perfectly set in stone.

However, Narcissistic and Sociopathic people whether diagnosed or not) have had their behaviour created from a damaged childhood. It comes with them to school, where they may enjoy success in being “top dog” in their year or to the students below. Then as they enter the workforce, they bring this behaviour with them on to unsuspecting colleagues, and maybe their managers as well.

 
What can you do if you are targeted as the victim?

There are two examples I want you to remember:

Jordan Petersen on the subject of bullying: “"You have to grow some teeth and be willing to use them"

I want you, the reader to read a chapter in the bible about Samson. According to gospel, Samson was sent by God to protect the Israelites against the Philistines. Samson was instructed to never cut his hair, as it was the manifestation of God’s power and strength which allowed him to execute super human feats against his enemies.

*Please note: the author is not connected to a religion but is somewhat versed in the Christian bible.

As bullying can manifest itself in many forms, this article would need to be a book to help cover many of the situations we encounter during our working lives.

However there are a few ideas I can share with you before I close.

 
Practical Suggestions

Remember, we all start out with nothing. The more situations we encounter, the more we grow, internally. Learning to resist bullying attempts can take time, experience and resilience. Like martial arts, you begin as a white belt and develop your skills to becoming a black belt.

You will need to grow your teeth over time as Jordan Petersen says, and be prepared to use them.

Work on strengthening your posture, not just at home but at work. Avoid looking physically weak.

Work on your voice projection. A great place to start would be having singing lessons or joining a public speaking club, such as Toastmasters.

Always have an exit strategy, a plan “B” if you deem the odds are too greatly against you and working in your current job doesn’t meet your basic core values. Jobs and people can change with a different environment.

Reading books and listening to YouTube videos such as the ones Jordan Petersen is lecturing in is a great way to help you understand the psychology of people and maybe even how to deal with them.

Learn and practice martial arts to develop a confidence to be able to meet any opponent and deal with them at the time they try to attack you. It is better to use balanced, equal force at the proper moment against a bully than to have to lose face and put up with them owning you at anytime you are triggered about the memory of their actions.

If you can, form your own protective group at work. There may be others who are experiencing the same issues you are. There can be greater potential for safety in numbers.

 
One final thought:

If you are victorious against a bully, so much so that you absolutely wiped the floor with them, don’t stand over their broken body and laugh. Turn around, walk away with dignity and never mention it to any of the other staff if avoidable. This strategy reduces the chances of spiteful revenge towards you later on. You may not be able to stop it entirely, but you cannot be a carpet to walk on either.

This article is written by one of our trusted practitioners on Bodhi Holistic Hub. All practitioners are carefully vetted, and our content follows our Editorial Policy.